batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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