ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
