my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
