SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
