I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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