cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
