this beer tastes like vomit already
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
