All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
