why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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