Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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