I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
