You can't motorboat a personality
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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