he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
