i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I smell stomach acid.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
