My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
