I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
