He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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