My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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