At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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