we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
