i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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