Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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