There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
