That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
