I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How does it feel to date your dad?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
