I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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