Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
