how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
