i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
