those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
