I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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