Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
