I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
