I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
