What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
