Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
