Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
