Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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