he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your penis caused this!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
