OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
