I just pynch a tree in the face
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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