I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
