Non-Jews are for practice
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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