Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
its not stalking. its research.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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