he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
