sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
