This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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