Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
