it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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