How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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